Throwing Roses

Throwing Roses

I’ll meet you at the wedding

All dressed in black

By the seaside

For what our friends have,

Unlike our ride

Before the swell crashed

They’re guided by something

In the stars we never had.

 

This is their time;

We’ll never find a way, so,

 

Let’s throw our roses

Into the ocean

Into every drop of water

That surprised us,

Let’s throw all of our roses

Into the ocean

And one of us can

Swim for the horizon.

 

Do you hear their

Undying love be cast?

Stronger than the waves

That crush the sand,

Unlike their vows

Our undertow lasts

To pull us out unexpectedly

Far from the land.

 

This is their time;

We never could find the way…

 

We never could swim

Against the facts

But right now it’s still

Polite to raise a glass,

We’ll wait until the

Winds are holding fast

To throw our roses and

Toast the never-will-haves.

 

This is their time;

We’ll never find a way, so,

 

Let’s throw our roses

Into the ocean

Into every teardrop of water

That surprised us,

Let’s throw all of our roses

Into the ocean

I promise I’ll wave to you

From the horizon.

 

All Rights Reserved (c) Sept. 2019 John J Vinacci

My First Crush

My First Crush

I was watching an episode of Malcolm in the Middle on Hulu yesterday. It was the episode in which Malcolm finds himself confounded by the new girl at school, Cynthia. Malcolm finds she makes him happy, angry, amused, upset, and confused – worst of all, he just doesn’t know what’s happening to him. Talk about identifying with a character.

Christine Hodgekiss was my first crush. This was back in 7th grade I believe and she was one of my dance partners in my music class. I didn’t actually like her when that class began; she was just another classmate I knew who might as well been a GI Joe or Barbie doll from the waist down. Even as we danced – we did a lot of dancing and hardly any music appreciation and never played instruments – it was all completely innocent.

Then a new kid showed up, just some guy who had the misfortune of walking into a situation where he didn’t know anyone. As fate, or stupidity, would have it some of my friends and I got the bright idea to write the new kid a note saying Christine wanted to ‘meet’ him after school at the football field. Keeping Christine in the dark, naturally he would get stood up. For reasons I can’t explain, this idea was hilarious to us; maybe we were just dicks. But as the time approached to actually give the new kid a letter, I started to reconsider the idea, though I couldn’t place my finger on the reason why.

One of us went through with the note anyway and wouldn’t you know it, the poor sap bought it and got stood up. I remember seeing him walking down my block on his way home while some of my friends and I played football in the yard. (Your Honor, if it helps rehabilitate my character at all, when I saw him that day I felt like a jerk for helping to pull this prank on him.) A few days later – or maybe it was the next day – Christine caught wind of the prank and started talking to the kid. It was like someone lit a fire under the cauldron of my belly.

I remember sitting in the cafeteria one day, trying to eat but finding myself too confused to have an appetite. I kept asking myself, Why do I care? Do I ‘like’ her? Wait; what? That doesn’t make any sense. I went back and forth on this until it dawned on me and I accepted the fact that I did like her and not in the same way I liked my other friends. This made me petrified of Christine. What do I do now? Do I tell her? What do I say? How does this work? I had no clue. I didn’t have a whiff of a clue. And then we had to dance together.

When we started to dance and we held hands like we’d already done at least a dozen times, I must have been acting oddly because I remember her asking me if I was alright, or words to that effect. Jesus, no, I’m not okay. Total system failure in your proximity! But I can’t say that, can I?! Whatever the song was seemed to last FOREVER and I think I broke out in a sweat at some point. It was so bad I started to look forward to dancing with another girl I hated for being too tall for me. The class ended a few weeks later during which time I was a total basket case and never told Christine.

The crush didn’t last long after that. I soon found myself attracted to every girl who breathed my way. To quote a classic 80’s song, “I’m in love, yeah yeah, at least every minute or two / Until the next time a girl walks by, I think I love her too.” Oh, the names I remember. Unfortunately, if love were a game of chess, I finished out high school barely able to play checkers. As I would find out from some platonic girl friends years later, I had no game. As It turns out, I’m good with my hands so the jokes on everyone who missed out! Sigh, the wonder years.

What’s your story? I’d love to hear it. Comment below.

 

All Rights Reserved (c) December 2018 John J Vinacci

Do You Know What the Stars Mean / Moonlight On a Spire

Do You Know What the Stars Mean / Moonlight On a Spire

[Note: I have edited these poems for someone I knew once upon a time.]

Do You Know What the Stars Mean?

Do you ever wonder

Wonder why

Why the stars

Kiss the sky?

 

Where do clouds go

On clear days,

Why do the flowers bloom

In different ways?

 

Do you ever wonder

Wonder why

Why the stars

Trust the night?

 

How does time move

While you stand still,

Where do children run

To get their fill?

 

Do you ever wonder

Wonder why

Why the stars

Hide come first light?

~ R.S.

Moonlight On a Spire

As I crept through the cold, velvet dark

Of the cave I call home, rust creeps over

The drain and down the pipe of its chambers.

 

Moonlight climbs through the window

Down the hall and shifts fast enough

To crouch in silence upon my bed

Before I’m through the door.

 

I inch my way forward

I rest my head

Seep tears against that

Which have laid hard hands

Around my heart before.

~ R.S.

Regret Me In The Morning

Regret Me In The Morning

[Author’s note: These are lyrics from my Irish drinking song of the same name.]

 

Last night at the local bar

Who knew hello would ever go so far?

Acting like we’re not broken

Talking because we’re hoping

Closing time’s the end of the start

 

To the womb of your living room

Where the beer and whiskey stopped all too soon

My thinking’s getting clearer

As you’re drawing nearer

Maybe I should walk out on you

 

Don’t pull me in, don’t kiss me so sincere

Don’t whisper sweet nothings, my darling

I sense how strong you think this bond is

But I think you’ll regret me in the morning

 

First light will be rising soon

And I know all too well that staying is cruel

You want to hold me closer

A new world to discover

But don’t you have too much to lose?

 

Don’t pull me in, don’t kiss me so sincere

Don’t whisper sweet nothings, my darling

I sense how strong you think this bond is

But I think you’ll regret me in the morning

 

Last night at the local bar

I regret hello ever went so far

But I’m known for being sullen

I lose it when bottles open

Sometimes Happy Hour is my demise.

 

 

All Rights Reserved © November 2016 John J Vinacci